On a different note I've been introduced to the monster, Metformin. I only call it a monster because in this first week or so of taking it my body has gone insane. Nausea is to be expected of course but my lower gut is not liking the sudden change in diet. Too little fiber is my guess. The best I could get down was a salad, cucumber and a morning breakfast shake. It reminds me a bit of the starvation diet I was on when my liver was abscessed and the gallbladder still in me. Eating less than 25g of fat a day and nothing more than 10 in one meal was definitely shedding pounds off me but it was mostly due to the anorexia side effect of benzotropine.
I do however have a serious reason to lose weight, two actually. For one I am pre-diabetic which sucks balls. Secondly, the endocrinologist has diagnosed me with polycystic ovarian syndrome. The better I respond to Metformin to reverse possible diabetes and the lower my weight the more likely I could have children! My gynecologist however has avoided diagnosing or treating me in this at all despite my sister having the same exact symptoms and condition. In fact I really have almost no trust in the woman at all now. I almost think she was waiting for my body to naturally pass the point of no return, sterilization.
There is however more to do about the diabetes and it doesn't end there. My blood also came back positive for the thyroid antibodies which means I have active Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. Most of my weight gain no doubt has begun with that and decreasing activity. At a point when I became insulin resistant as well the two simply reinforced each other until I became completely unresponsive to lifestyle changes alone. I will need to build a strong exercise plan if I want to really see results fast. I doubt however given the size I was when I began to have a liver band that I will ever shrink lower than a size 12 in women's clothes. My hips are simply to large by now though I did once sport an 8 while I was at full height.
But I have to say all these pills don't seem to sit well especially the larger ones. Upcoming is my first lumbar puncture which may have its time changed and a new daytime EEG might be scheduled. Since I'm symptomatic again it's easy to resent the doctors for asking for more. I miss the Vicoadin they hooked me on at this point. Being so high you don't want to eat and can't feel pain sounds great but there are too many costs to it. Just like the 6 months of psychotherapy I had to go through for my withdrawal. I do not want to experience psychosis like that ever again.