Finally the mobile heart monitor is done with. I had the bad luck to not only be allergic to the adhesive sensor pads but also experience a region wide power blackout which turned of the monitor in the last few days. Needless to say my followup with the cardiologist was underwhelming as well. I've got scars from the monitor and nothing to show for it. The only posed answer for my tachycardia event is a environmental trigger. Thinking of it now that jerk better not have been saying he thought I was a drug user. They always due a full workup for that whenever I show up shaking, vomiting and experiencing neurological symptoms. Being on record as having dystonia at least has helped with that particular ageism stereotype. I didn't think a possible heart attack would lead some one to presume the same thing. Let's be real of course what he thought was that my thyroid caused it. So of course I was sent to the endocrinologist who said absolutely not. A guess of mine is perhaps I accidentally took two of my thyroid prescription since it resembles my lisinopril tablet. Except I am sure that didn't happen. Something that was also alluded too is perhaps my heart is working too well. This I assume is his way of reconfirming my ectopic beats without actually telling me I have them because I might freak out and overreact. Surprise I already knew about them.
I also just had the followup with my opthalmologist who I was sure would find grave news. I've been getting ocular migraine and headaches so bad that I can't concentrate more than ten minutes at a time to do schoolwork. Somehow I am hanging on in this quarters classes even with over the top expectations from one of my teachers and too similar courses. So my field of vision test was about the same and my nerve damage was as well but they were troubled that it almost seemed to be healing. I assume whatever was damaging it was under control then. When I mentioned dry eye he insisted on punctal plugs and did the worst job explaining them before he got them in my eyes. They don't seem to be helping or harming. The problem is still my eyes not making their own moisture. Doctors are beginning to look at me strange when I am upset over a non diagnosis. Of course these are the auxiliary specialists who don't know that I am a chronic sufferer of a insidious disease process.
I do feel a bit silly as well because I recall in my behavioral science coursework going over the psychological paradigm of "the sick role". It would be very easy to guilt myself into believing that as some people have told me I am a lair hanging on to what makes me special. Trust me I would much rather have back the freedom of eating, going and staying anywhere I want without extensive planning. Then again I am a bit afraid of what more responsibility would return with increased functionality. Now of course when ever I get into one of these self doubting and self hating modes something always happens. Today it was fecal incontinence again which at least I am able to bodily clean up myself. What I am learning is to not put stock in the transient symptom processes because that's what always produces the null result. The stable problems like chronic dehydratedness, intestinal/bladder control, inflammation/rash, pain, dystonic storms, severe anemia, food allergy with malabsorption and neurological crisis are all reliable. That reminds me I am supposed to choose a new gastroenterologist which no doubt means a colonoscopy this time. I never did call back about the scar tissue they collected from my lower esophagus to test under microscope. Since the doctor was so rude I just didn't want to and I doubt my keeping off only 30lbs the past year would impress him either. This morning is my appointment with the hematologist for the next iv infusion which hopefully still wont require whole blood as well.