I was really surprised to see that I haven't posted in so long. I have a tendency to read this site as if it is a old diary often for perspective. Rather I guess life has had me busy enough to avoid admitting my problems to cyberspace. My masters program ended and I folded on both the semi-acceptance to a ethnic studies program as well as a second masters in library science. I think that is why I am so depressed since class ended. This just seems to be reinforced by a feeling of ill which yesterday was about 30 minutes of vertigo.
Even the good changes I had to my life since I last wrote are kind of tainted. I finished one of my outdoor projects...landscaping the front yard only for rabbits and a carnivorous vine to tear it apart day by day. The husband and I adopted a kitten while our local shelter was running a donation only event. She is a gorgeous tortie with some magic color changing eyes. Unfortunately while they in general get along our elder cat gets beat up when she won't play and the kitten won't share. Her entire head and neck are covered with bad bite marks while our kitten just keeps on going after her when the mood strikes.The husband has even gotten sick recently. I have been complaining none stop about our tap water having a smell for the past month that is noxious to me. Of course no one else smells it so I know its just one of those personal aversions my body has to anything it wants. Watermelon and peanut butter make me bloat now and cucumber I have to avoid like the plague. Speaking of the water the husband and I both have esophagitis though for me it is not new. I am more worried about him being taken care of since he works and for the most part I can cope. Mostly I chug milk like a person with an ulcer would. My zinc allergy doesn't help with some stomach products (tums/rolaids) and you can say goodbye to a decent dandruff shampoo.
Shampoo brings me to money. I wasted some on a bottle I didn't need this month. The student loan excess I put toward bills just sort of slipped away and seemed to make no impact on my balances. My amazingly healed credit score was hit with a ugly stick and can't recover until the percentages are right regardless of my perfect payment record. I still have yet to buy a new pair of glasses that I know I need. One would think at least sleep would help with all this but it's inconsistent, too long or plagued with nightmares. Mostly nightmares...I had to lock the doors two nights ago because a break in had stabbed me through the chest in my dream. It's sad my instincts can't tell dreaming from reality and just turn off once I awake. I guess that's the fault of the panic disorder.